When Does Fear Become a Phobia?
Can your phobias be cured?
Until 1989, I suffered from aviophobia — fear of flying. I don’t know how this phobia developed or what caused it, but it was something I had to conquer if I were ever to be able to achieve my dream of travelling overseas.
My first flight
When I was 17, I flew alone on a Fokker Friendship plane from Townsville to Brisbane to visit my grandmother. The flight was rough and I cried silently the entire time. I had just finished high school and I was convinced the plane would crash and I’d die before I’d had a chance to experience anything!
Needless to say, it landed safely, but I refused to fly home after my holiday at Granny’s. I caught the train — 30 hours on solid ground was preferable to a couple in the air.
My second flight
I didn’t fly again until 14 years later and I was still terrified. I had to fly from Brisbane to Sydney to join a South Pacific Cruise I’d booked. Once again, I was flying on my own, but this time, it was worse. I was leaving my three children behind. What if the plane crashed?
After the cruise — thank goodness I have never had a fear of the ocean (thalassophobia) — I had to face the flight back home. I had a few gin squashes at the airport which calmed me enough to get on the plane.
Immersion therapy
Several years and several more babies later, when Qantas released their mystery flight idea, I was almost ready to tackle my fear of flying. Day flights to anywhere in Australia were $29 return, so I started flying almost every Sunday — Sydney, Melbourne, Canberra, Townsville, and Cairns were our destinations on a number of occasions.
I always had a few drinks before boarding and my fear of flying gradually lessened. Not a single one of those flights had any technical problems, and Qantas did have a track record of being the safest airline in the world.
I realized it wasn’t the actual flying that frightened me — it was the crashing and dying part. It wasn’t until my three youngest children started accompanying us on trips that I actually started to enjoy flying. The thought that, if the plane crashed, we would all perish together and the children wouldn’t be left orphans, sort of comforted me.
Not only do I no longer fear flying, I love everything about it — especially when I get the chance to fly business class.
When does fear become a phobia?
I think a fear becomes a phobia when the fear is completely irrational. So do I have any other phobias? Hmm, no, I don’t think so. I have fears, yes, but they are completely rational.
I fear poisonous snakes because they can bite and kill, but I don’t fear pythons as they aren’t aggressive, and they do catch rats and mice. I don’t particularly like rats but it’s always me who has to catch and dispose of them, so I’m sure I don’t have ophidiophobia or musophobia.
Luckily, I don’t have arachnophobia because I’m always called to the rescue when a huntsman spider dares enter my daughter’s house. No amount of explanation that they are a vital part of the food chain alleviates her fears.
Cable cars
I’m not afraid of heights — acrophobia — I’ll happily climb a church steeple or the Eiffel Tower — but I’m afraid of falling. So I don’t like cable cars hanging on a wire hundreds of metres above the valley floor. I don’t think this is a phobia: it’s a rational fear because the cable could snap and everyone would crash to their deaths. I have learned to cope with this fear because I’ve been to so many wonderful places in the world where taking a cable car was the only way to experience what’s at the top. I have overcome my fear by videoing the ascent and the descent- it’s not nearly as scary when it’s viewed through a lens.
Caves and claustrophobia
I don’t particularly like being underground in a mine, or in a man-made enclosed space. I think this might relate to not having enough oxygen to breathe and suffocating to death. I don’t have that fear in caves. I’m completely fine in a cave. In fact, I love caves!
Fear of missing out
I think my ‘fear of missing out’ overtakes the fear of going to the top of the mountain in a cable car or chair lift: I don’t want to miss out on what may be at the top — a cold beer, some local delicacies or a magnificent view.
Thanatophobia
It turns out the only phobia I actually have is thanatophobia. (I just looked it up.) It’s the fear of dying — whether in an airplane crash or a cable car crash or even a car crash — but this fear is not going to stop me from enjoying my life. I’m going to fly as far and as frequently as I want (or can afford), go on as many cable cars as is humanly possible, and experience all that life has to offer, even if it scares me a little. And if that plane crashes and I die, I will have died doing what I enjoy most.
I have spent a large part of my life rearing children. Now I enjoy travel and writing more than anything else. I like to focus my energy on collecting experiences as opposed to things and would rather spend my money on an adventurous holiday to a foreign land than on a fancy new car.
