Am I Haunted by Who I Once Was?

Photo by K Adams on Unsplash

I don’t know if haunted is precisely the word I would use to describe the old me. Incredulous may be a better descriptor. I cannot believe I was such a doormat for so many years. Yessir, no sir, three bags full sir. That WAS me!

I think I became more of a doormat with every relationship maybe not the third. We agreed — he’d be the boss in the bedroom, and I’d be the boss everywhere else. That went well until it didn’t.

I always considered myself a strong independent woman except I wasn’t. It took me three decades to discover that I was a different person when I didn’t have my husband with me. And now that I’ve been single for more than five years, I’m realising I have a much better relationship with my sister and particularly with my daughter and I’m actually happier in myself.

I don’t have to hide the bottle of wine if I want a drink on a Friday night, I don’t have to eat just because it’s mealtime, I can go out or stay home, I don’t have to turn off my reading light when he wants to sleep, I can talk on the phone for hours to whomever I please, I don’t have to clean the house unless I want to, I can travel...the list is endless.

This song just came into my head…I don’t know why. My dog days are over!